The Denver Broncos won’t have a single player take a knee next season. “All of the disrespectful players have been traded or released,” said John Elway’s spokesman, “They can go play activist on someone else’s team.”

He would not even look at a cow when I let him out with the herd; instead, he would just eat grass.

That bull was starting to look like more than I had paid for him. In any case, I asked the veterinarian to examine him.